Oh, the once in a semester once in a module homework is back. Essays to be done. I have just started typing. One whole load of questions. In fragments. Can i just submit an essay, 2000 words, made up of questions? I don't think Jeremy minds right? Falling asleep is one. Wanting to go for a run is another. Supper's on my mind now. This semester has passed way too fast.
And I don't know if it is because of you.
Days just pass. With absolutely no meaning. Besides, I hate to see your brother as well as his girlfriend in school. I hate it when they smile at me. It is neither funny nor pleasant. Shut up jean. U smiled back. U could have not smile, you could have thrown them a disgusted look. Afterall, ain't this what you were really good at when u were in secondary school?
If you are really so hard up about yourself, about leaving me, why on earth do you send me msgs? Or perhaps, the msgs were sent wrongly to me. Ah... it must be.
I don't know what else I am doing to my life. It's such a joke. There came many opportunities, many possible boyfriends. But the more people who express interest, the more i try to go out with these people and feel alive, the more i feel that 'my love for you makes any other life a lie' (
Written on the Body). All's so fake, so not real... There's this sense of de-personalisation going on.
I club, i drink, not for you. But because of u i ended up like this. The blame is on u even though the responsibility is on me to not be like this. I won't harm myself. I am simply filling time.
No matter what, I refuse to be a loser like your 19 year old suitor.
