Alright Alright

Stacey's COOL dog 18dec


Darling and I headed to Billy Bombers for dinner after checking out the tattoo shop 18dec


My company at the Vilage 22dec


Haha.. 22dec


The trio 22dec


My two primary school friends 22dec


Long lost Yuen Yin 22dec


Finally a group photo? 22dec


Hehe... 22dec


Playing Balderdash at Mindcafe 22dec


I think I'm the only one not concentrating 22dec


Ulric, Nicholas and Darling after some drinks at Balcony after the games. 22dec


Logcake we bought at the last minute 24dec


Durian logcake 24dec


It looks so clean, so perfect. 24dec


We went for mass at Christ the King at night 24dec


We were in Giraffe and I took this picture while waiting for my beloved Judith to come down. 25dec


So nice right... 25dec


Darling's Erdinger and mine 25dec


I look like crap. Not because I look like crap but because there's this fan that blows at me for the entire time that I spent there. 25dec


My last drink. Mango frozen Margarita. 25dec

I had fun today

After everything that I feel these past few days, I seem to feel a little better after meeting up with MY Judith and Yuen Yin. It has really be a year since I've met them. Meeting up with them, especially with the company of Darling makes it even better. What saves the day at the very end is that he was able to get along with my friends. Which, to me is sort of a great thing.

I love them all.

We went Vilage for late lunch and headed to Mindcafe to chill and have some laughter. Ultimately, to Balcony we went for some drinks. Photos shall come later as I am now a tiny bit drowsy and know for sure that I will get a good night's rest.

So, adieu.

In the next couple of days

Let's hope that it'll be a great weather to go Sentosa tomorrow morning. I haven't been to Sentosa for a long time! I want to be there, pluck big red hibiscus and put it on my head again. I want to look pretty and feel pretty. I kinda hate the reflection of myself in the mirror now.

Sunday, having lunch with my beloved primary school friends!!! Perhaps dinner with Darling's buddies and drinking after? I'm not an alcoholic. To put it simply, I crave for alcohol because I want to feel happy, even if it means only for awhile.

I want to experience the festive mood! It has yet to come.

I so sick of everything still.....

Will things turn out for the better when Christmas comes???

When is The Day gonna come?

These days haven't been the best of days for me. In fact, it was much filled with soul reflecting periods as well as being in a stage of confusion and contradiction. It is an ordeal. It is painful. It is casuing me extreme discomfort. I don't know when I'll find some avenue to release all that I have kept deep within me. There's no one to tell, no one to talk to, no one to listen. I would rather not say anything to anyone, for the fear of regreting whatever I've said.

Is it possible to find someone who can love you unconditionally? Is it possible to make anyone fall flat for you? Is it possible that no matter what happens, no matter how bad you've been, he'll forgive you? Is it possible that even when everything is really bad, his heart still beats for you? Is it possible for him to stay faithful? Is it possible that forever is true?

I am born an pessimist.

I suffer from paranoia at any opportunity.

I've learnt what is means to be hysterical.

I know how it feels to be so helpless, so pathetic, acknowledging it, yet still can't seem to pull myself out of it.

I am 19 years old. It's not going to be long before I turn 20. What have I achieved in Life? What are the things that I've learnt? I don't want to turn 20. I still prefer to be classified under the Ignorant Immature Brats category. At least I can be assured that I can be forgiven based on the fact that I'm just, merely a teenager. But once I hit 20, what is it going to be? 21 will come in no time and my parents will no longer has any say in my life in the eyes of the law. I am considered to be totally responsible for my own actions. I am forced to grow up and be mature, think mature, act mature, speak mature.

Thinking back, other than learning how to cope with stress better, deal with examinations and the preparations that come before that, openly speak in front of a public audience with composure, surf the net, know that trusting or being trusted is difficult to come by yet so fragile---breaks almost immeditely when something occurs, I'VE NOT DONE ANYTHING SPECTACULAR.

Who am I? What was I made to be?

Is my boyfriend whom I cling onto really The One? I don't seem to be able to live without him but he says that he can live without me. It has been clarified that this is not the workings of PRIDE but TRUTH. I've always been pissing him off and not fulfilling my promises to him. So, what say do I have?

I just want to forever be his baby. I need to stop, before I start tearing.

The Season

It has been so gloomy
The floors are wet
Everything's soaked
When is this going to stop?
Even though temperature is good
The wetness irritates my toes.


Darling's going for My Chemical Romance's concert which he forbades me from going. He wants to have all the fun by himself and will definitely not need a LADY like me to be in the way. Anyways, I simply am spending my day painting my nails myself, watching VCDs. I watched Perfect Stranger. It's not like a classic film but it's exactly the kind of film that I needed now. One that can be quite brainless yet a little witty and wraps up with an unexpected ending. I'm halfway through Music and Lyrics.

I miss going to school. No. I don't miss going to school. I hate the travelling and the essays. I miss my friends and miss watching films like Dirty Pretty Things and having intriguing chats with all the people that I know in school. Thinking that another new semester is coming, I really don't know how I am suppose to go through it. Ha. But then again, this first semester passed really fast.

Late late late

I guess I'm quite late in finding out that my release of results is going to be on 21 December at 5pm. It's before Christmas!!!

Is it me?

Actually, everytime before I fall asleep, I feel like blogging. It's not me who is lazy to blog or whatsoever but my brothers are really occupying the computer from the minute they wake up to the minute they sleep. Not to mention that they sleep later than me and wake up earlier than me. So I don't really have the chance to blog. I will, I will ask to use the computer once the anxiety of my school stuff gets ahead of me. I can't deny that I worry about what elective to take on next sem. I still can't decide. Those that I'm interested will take away my 4-day school week.

I went to highlight my hair. In purple and red. Grandma says I look like a parrot, Mom says I look like a baboon and I say I look like a mannequin. But my Grandpa gave me two thumbs up! Ha! I nearly, nearly cut my hair short short short. I bet that would make Constance love me more!

Anyways, Stacey reminded me that she's holding a party in her house on 18th. I'll try to make it! On the other hand, Stacy says there will be class gathering with Mrs Low this Thursday at MadJack. Oh well, am I going?